I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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