another moral hangover. fuck.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
