Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
