I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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