Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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