so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
my nose is crying tears of wow.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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