All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
