I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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