there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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