I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize