Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
