If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
