i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
