Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
