I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
