I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
