he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
