How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
