Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
