there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
