just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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