you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize