If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
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Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
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also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule