dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
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once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
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the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country