My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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