I hate your face
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
