Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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