it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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