I wish I could punch you in the face.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
