I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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