You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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