NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
