There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
