Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
