Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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