Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize