I got chris browned last night
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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