I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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