Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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