Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
