i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
