Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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