OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize