**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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