its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
