At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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