By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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