Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
