Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize