I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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