I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
