I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
