thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
