I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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