I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was like eating out sand paper
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
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so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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