i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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