Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
