He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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