I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
