kristin has been a bad kristin
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
