hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
